Is Sexual Discipline still a thing?

Sex and African Spirituality

Humans are spiritual beings. And with every sexual encounter, the spirit entangles with the person that he/she has the sexual experience with. You carry their essence everywhere you go and this, to the most immisible degree. It can influence your decisions and change who you are.
This may sound like utter rubbish. Maybe it is. Maybe you did not know this so you referred to it as rubbish. Allow me to elaborate.

Sex is the both the destruction and distraction of many positive things

In the African context, sex/ sexual activities with a married man/woman are prohibited. The sacred bond between man and wife can not be tainted and broken. It is a communion entangled with an ancestral lineage. Those who interrupt this union through sexual relations invite a variety of negative/positive energies within that union into their lives. This act is also prohibited in times of various traditional ceremonies and rituals. It is prohibited during funeral arrangements and proceedings, initiations, cleansings, in times of seeking success or achievement and when using healing traditional herbs. Sexual discipline, or rather complete abstanance is a necessity in such instances.

Sex, for a man, weakens their ability to fight in times of war. Sex in general, ivala iDlozi and kills all ancestral connections. To an extent, sex, from an African context, is a sacred ritual that can not be performed anyhow at any time and by/with any person. The dangers of sex, according to these beliefs, is how the unpure spirit of one person or izinto ahambha nazo, ziyakosulela when you engage in sexual conduct with that particular person. Izichitho ne’zlwane have easy access and more strength through sexual activity via transmission from one physical body to the next.

Men and Women using umuthi for sexual purposes

Sometimes, this is deliberate, where a person is seduced to facilitate the process. Such times are when umntu edliswa so that they fall inlove with someone. Other times, the partner is unaware that they are carriers, meaning uphathisiwe. Umuthi, or the water of an amoeba often inserted into the vagina, or isiwasho are often used by women to seduce men to keep them in relationships.

Men use the similar methods to keep a woman. Uqaba umuthi on the penis to make it enjoyable to the woman. Some use beading, however, instead of beads inserted inside the skin, umuthi is used. Others use snakes that demand sleeping with multiple women to retain their wealth. Some use umlomo mnadi under the tongue coupled with a specially prepared body oil to lure women with speech and unprecedented physical attraction. The list of combinations are endless and easiest to use/obtain when it comes to sexual orientation.

Once a person is a victim of these negative consequences associated with sexual activity, the cleansing rituals that need to be performed are, to say the least very gruesome and painful. Some might even kill the person involved in the cleansing ritual depending on the severity.

There are instances where sexual activities are forceful via persuasion or physical violence. These acts are not to be taken lightly and must be punishable in the worst degree. Starting with immediate cleansing is often the best starting solution amongst various other actions.

This is why sexual activity is not to be taken lightly. And in some instances, even forbidden. This is not to say that sexual activity should be avoided entirely, no, however these are rules that governed the African for centuries… Until now.

LGBTQ+ Sexual Relations and African Spirituality

Off the bat, I’m ready to punch someone in the throat whenever they express any negative judgment regarding the LGBTQ community. The fact that people who do not have the same sexual desires and orientation as the majority have to constantly defend themselves is disgusting and those on the attack should be ashamed of even calling themselves human beings. Weak minded people do not belong in this world.

Africans among the world’s most religious people

93% of sub-Saharan Africans believe in foreign religions. Christian (63%) and Muslim (30%), making the continent one of the most religious in the world. These beliefs influence many facets of people’s lives, including their attitudes to LGBTQ+ communities. 

“Most religious texts say that homosexuality is problematic,” writes Amy Adamczyk, an American sociologist, in an article for The Conversation.

The more religious people are more likely to take these religious precepts seriously. When a large proportion of people are highly dedicated to their religion, everyone tends to develop narrowed perspectives. Such people tend to believe that they have sexual discipline and possess the blueprints of how sexual activity.

Muslim and Christian leaders are often vocally opposed to gay sex. African media often quote a religious official when discussing homosexuality but homosexuality existed in Africa long before the continent was colonized.

Extensive evidence collected by anthropologists and other scholars shows that same-sex practices and diverse sexualities can be found all over the continent and predate colonization. Ancient San rock paintings near Guruve in Zimbabwe dating back 2,000 years show scenes between copulating males. Same-sex relationships exist in Uganda and were also part of many Ugandan communities before and during colonial times. “It was an open secret” that Mwanga II, the 19th century King of Buganda in what is now Uganda, was gay. This is according to Ugandan scholar Sylvia Tamale in an article entitled Homosexuality is not un-African.

In Zambia, youths and adult men had sexual contact during the circumcision rites of the Ndembu. In northern Uganda, effeminate males among the Langi people were treated as women and could marry men during pre-colonial times. .

“Women to women marriage in which one woman pays brideprice to acquire a husband’s rights to another woman has been documented in more than thirty African populations,” finds the seminal book on homosexuality in Africa, Boy-Wives and Female Husbands.

What’s my point in all this?

Homosexuality is not taboo. It is nothing to be ashamed of however society has made the world a prison for the people that are homosexual. It is difficult for a black child to tell their parents that they do not share the same sexual desire sentiments as them or pastor or family. Because they will not understand as they have had an expectation from birth, an expectation which shapes the ideology of reproduction, the child suffers in silence for decades. Infact, the entire limitation of “a man must have a woman and a woman must have a man” has never truly been a part of African culture. This is imposed upon the African culture over centuries by religious intervention and colonization.

By the way, I know a male dog that is homosexual. It allows other male dogs to have sex with it. Now let that marinate in your brain for a moment.

Back to Sexual Discipline, LGBTQ+ Sexual relations and African Spirituality; The very same principles apply whether it were a man and woman engaged in sexual activity. The main difference however is, the sexual drives are almost identical when involved in same sex relationships. Maintaining Sexual Discipline is paramount to avoid not only the dangers of having sex with multiple partners from a spiritual perspective, but also from a health perspective.

Sex and Health

From a non-spiritual perspective, too many sexual partners increases the possibility of contracting sexually transmitted illnesses and viruses that can cause serious life-threatening health conditions.

HIV/AIDS

The estimated overall HIV prevalence rate is approximately 13,0% among the South African population. The total number of people living with HIV (PLWHIV) is at approximately 7,8 million in 2020. People aged 15–49 years, an estimated 18,7% of the population is HIV positive. This includes cases where infections are through rape, accidental contact with contaminated blood, blood transfusions and various other forms that exclude sexual activity (which is the most common). 2.3 million new cases of gonorrhoea1.9 million new chlamydia cases 23,175 new syphilis cases among women aged between 15 and 49.

Other STI’s

Among men of the same age there are an estimated 2.2 million new cases of gonorrhoea. 3.9 million new cases of chlamydia and 47,500 new cases of syphilis. Genital herpes – This is one of the most common STIs in South Africa, effecting approximately one in five people. This infection is caused by a virus, which is inactive for the majority of the time. In South Africa, the prevalence of HSV-2 infection is between 40% and 70% in women. HSV-2 infection is widespread throughout the world and is almost exclusively sexually transmitted, causing genital herpes. HSV-2 is the main cause of genital herpes, which can also be caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). Infection with HSV-2 is lifelong and incurable.

The use of protection, such as condoms, doesn’t really solve the situation. Most of the time there is rare condom use. One in every three men use a condom in every encounter when they sleep with multiple women, but with their partners, even that last man does not use it at all.

This goes for women as well, some prefer raw sex even though they may have multiple partners. In this instance, it is the man’s resolute and conscience that should be firm in the use of protection otherwise the result is often a pregnancy where she does not know who the father is. More often than not, the woman pins the baby to the man that she feels is good enough to raise the child. Some know exactly who the father but the man rarely accepts this especially when he is aware that the woman has multiple partners. Thus we see the rise in absent fathers among various other factors. The best option nowadays is to play it safe and use protection because one will never really really know what their partner is up to.

Rape

Rape is one of the most predominant sexual occurances in our society. The statistics are absolutely rediculous.

In South Africa, Gauteng records most reported rape cases. More than 2 000 people have reported rape cases in Gauteng since the beginning 2021 to May 2021. KwaZulu-Natal with 1 722 cases and the Eastern Cape with 1 660 cases. Nationwide during that time period, 6 893 of the rape incidents revealed that 4 130 took place at the home of the victim or the home of the alleged rapist. Rape made up the bulk of the 12 133 sexual offences cases reported, which included 477 sexual assault cases, 60 attempted sexual offences and 57 contact sexual of fences. This is just within a five month period of reported cases.

Types of Rape

There are many other cases, even situations where rape occurs and the victim is not even aware of it.

1. Sleeping with someone who is drunk/under the influence is rape.
2. Drugging someone then sleeping with the person is rape.
3. Having sex with someone while they are asleep is rape (even if they wake up and continue, they did not consent).
4. Guilt-tripping your partner to have sex with you is rape.
5. Forcing someone to have sex with you so that you can give them what they want is rape.
6. Orgy or group sex where a participant did not consent is rape (even if they are doing it anyway).
7. Sleeping with a girl below the age of 16 is rape.
8. Deceiving someone to have sex with you is rape. (A man pretends to be an official for a government to pressure a woman into sexual activities).
9. Sleeping with a person to prove that they are not gay/lesbian is rape.
10. Intimidating someone to sleep sex with you because you hold a higher social hairachy is rape.
11. Sleeping with someone who consented then tells you to stop mid-intercourse but you do not, is rape.
12. Masterbating someone who is asleep or does not want to be touched in their private parts is rape.

It is imperative that we know what is going on at all times and how to best defend ourselves in such situations. Most of the time, there is nothing that the rape victims can do. To be honest, even the existing police service is useless when it comes to solving such cases. Which brings us to our next topic within our sexual discipline discussion.

Stealthing

This latest trend involves a participant splitting or removing a condom, just before or during the sexual act, without the knowledge or consent of their partner. Stealthing is a form of sexual assault as it is by definition non-consensual. The consequences of stealthing – popularly known in some communities as isikuni, bare-backing or going rogue – are tragic. Besides the obvious risk of pregnancy, unprotected sex includes the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases and HIV, should the deceitful partner be HIV-positive.

South Africa’s Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and Related Matters) Amendment Act of 2007. It lists rape, compelled rape, seaxual assault, incest, statutory rape and sexual grooming of children, among others. It states that “any person (‘A’) who unlawfully and intentionally commits an act of sexual penetration with a complainant (‘B’) without the consent of B, is guilty of the offence of rape”, clearly making stealthing a crime. This recklessness, mainly from men, is the result of many health complications.

Some women, also request that the man removes the condom. Maybe because she can not feel the manhood or wants to have more pleasure. The man may be against the idea for obvious reasons. Stealthing begs the question, how many other sexual encounters did this person do this with. It may be a once-off, but you can never be too sure.

Sex and Money

On our previous blog Financial Literacy is just as important as Sexual Discipline, we made an example of two different people with different lifestyles. Let’s revisit that example again for a moment.

Scenario

You’re a 25year old man at the peak of his life. You have a paying job, you sleep with anybody who is willing to pull down their pants for you. Spending money on all these women, making babies, buying cars and alcohol, nje you’re having a very nice time. By the age of 40 you realise that you need to settle down. You buy a house, find yourself a wife and start building an empire with a secure future for your family and other children.

In an alternate reality, you’re a 25 year old man, also, at the peak of his life. You are loyal to the bone, you marry your current girlfriend or long term girlfriend that you met in Varsity or high school. You build your empire, you have kids and live happily.

Considering these two realities; which of these men do you think is more likely to have more money in the bank and have a healthy sexual lifestyle? i.e has more Sexual Discipline and financially stable?

It is very difficult to determine what the correct answer would be without being judgemental about a person’s life. What we can comment on based on the above information, guy number 1 is the least favorable. However when it comes to who’s bank account is more in shape, we can never determine another man’s pocket. What is interesting though is how sex and Money always seems to go hand in hand.

Prostitution

Prostitution is a means of survival for many of our poverty stricken and unemployed women in our society. These women become victims of the most disgusting conditions and are often victims of rape. In worst cases, women are abducted and sold as prostitutes and sex slaves. Prostitutes areoften in strip clubs, street corners, trap houses and brothels. Some are deliberately forced to take drugs. It is rare that they get paid enough money, if at all.

Another form of prostitution, which is very modern and subtle, involves women who receive money from very wealthy men/women that they are not in taken to expensive trips, and restaurants, bought luxury clothing in return for sexual favors or solicit acts. Society is very sensitive when it comes to this kind of prostitution. Everybody knows, but nobody wants to talk about it and admit it for what it is.

Pornography

Arguable the most lucrative businesses, worth billions, and quickest way to make money because it pays well. This industry caters to the sexual needs desires and fantasies of the consumer and is highly addictive. Sex sells. This is the most common derivative when marketing almost anything, it has been this way for decades. Nowadays the evolution of pornography has transitioned from still-pictures, to DVD’s, now to the internet where the possibilities are endless.

Anybody can get into pornography and it does not necessarily have to involve intercourse. The catagories are flexible to personal preference. Some use sex toys on live videos, professionally or home-made. Others opt for human interaction of same sex, opposite, both or multiple at once. Regardless, as long as there is someone willing to watch, or pay to watch such as in websites like Onlyfans.com then there is money up for grabs. Social media has also made it very easy to advertise the business. They earn rediculous amounts of money because, sex sells. In pornography, sexual discipline takes on an entirely different meaning. Here, it depends on the participant on what they can reserve for themselves and their partners. Example, some may refuse to do oral sex. Also, hygiene takes the form of sexual discipline in the business.

Money and sex appeal

A more controversial conversation that society never wants to have, is how both men and women find to people that have money attractive and are willing to sleep with them to get a piece of it. We find younger men sleeping with older single women because they have money and the relationship comes with lots of benefits. We find young women sleeping with older men because they can provide financially and sustain a certain lifestyle. The trend is common in the LGBTQ+ community as well. Nobody is safe.

The reality is that a person who has money oozes with sex appeal. No matter the physical features, personality, age, ethnicity and have the ability to attract any person of their liking as long as the other party is willing. This is the most common practice that destroys sexual discipline because for most, sex is easy and it is a mutual benefit.

Sexual Consciousness

The human body, is according to theosophy, is a composition of seven bodies, namely:

• The first body is the physical body which is visible and we all know it.
• Beyond the physical body, there is the second body, etheric body.
• Then there is the third body i.e. an astral body which is beyond the etheric body.
• Beyond the astral body; there is the mental body.
• The fifth body, i.e. the spiritual body, is after mental body
• Beyond it, there is the cosmic body.
• The seventh body is the nirvanic body.

The focus today will be on the Etheric body and Astral body. In relation to sexual discipline.

The Etheric Body

This is the time period of emotional development of the person. Thus sexual maturity, is also at its peak. If the etheric body does not develop and remains stagnant, then the person will have no interest in life beyond eating, drinking and materialism. Their individualities, their literature, their art, dance, songs, music, their films, their poetry and paintings, even their residence and vehicles are but all that life has to offer and their entire world is filled completely with sex, with sexuality. There is no transition to the development of the Astral body where thinking, reason and Supreme intellect develop which is a sequel to tradition, civilization, culture, education, and company because a person is stagnant in the Etheric developmental phase.

To develop beyond this body is to not prioritize the things of the flesh and what the physical plain has to offer for instant gratification. Being stuck in the loophole of reality to succumb to its limitations and conformaties is what prevents the development of the Astral body to its full potential. Which is only achievable once the Etheric body has fully developed.

Astral Body

Once the Astral body fully develops, one may have the ability to experience Astral sex. Astral sex is the use of astral projection to experience sexual pleasure on the soul level. Sex on the astral plane isn’t going to look like your usual bedroom routine. Although it may not be a physical act, it’s sure to touch you on a soul level. When two souls can transcend their physical bodies and connect on a deeper, more spiritually intimate level, it can bring them even closer together.

The experience is a small resemblance similar to when new relationship has formed and is brimming with energy and the desire to connect. It can also happen be a small resemblance of a longer-term relationships with a healthy sexual relationship where both parties experience a great deal of passion. The lack of sexual discipline often hinders this possibility as the astral body interacts with various energies.

So, is sexual discipline still a thing anymore?

It may be a matter of perspective at this point due to the preferences and individual choice of each person. We choose whether we want to be sexually active or not. We choose whether we want to have multiple partners. The decision to be involved in pornography or prostitution is entirely up to us. Whatever that choice may be, everything in this article is ought to be taken to consideration. Playing safe is the best way, not playing at all. There’s no point in not having any sexual discipline when engaging in sexual activity especially with all the risks involved.