Toxic Masculinity

Toxic Masculinity has become a serious pandemic within society. Truthfully, it has always been a pandemic. However, nobody ever had the courage nor opportunity to expose it for what it truly is.

The idea of what “manliness” is, perpetuated by gender domination, homophobia, and aggression is what some might say, is destroying the male generation of today. Women were submissive for centuries until now, which is one of the main reasons why we can expose such behaviors today. The voice of women in society has allowed us to not only identify, but also isolate what is wrong with how men conduct themselves.

As we empower each other and re-define the gender-roles every single day; independence, awareness and identification of one’s self and Self-worth is becoming more eminent than ever before.

Throughout the history of our existence, men have always been the center of attention and preference. This egotistical ideology is what makes the concept of Toxic Masculinity not only debatable, but questionable on whether or not men can exist without it.

Defining Toxic Masculinity

A set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with, or expected of men. These are often regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.

Examples of Toxic Masculinity

• Unconditional physical toughness

• Physical aggression and fear of emotions

• Discrimination against people that aren’t heterosexual

• Hyper independence

• Sexual aggression and violence

• Anti-feminist behavior

The impact of Toxic Masculinity

— The social impacts of toxic masculinity are evident when examining rates of violence, drug-related crime, anti-social behaviors, drug overdoses, and suicides.

— Gender-Based Violence against women and children is a direct result of toxic masculinity. “What man raises their hand towards a woman?” These are questions we ask ourselves when we see updates on social media of women beaten up, full of bruises and in worst cases, murdered.

— What man raises their hand towards their child? There’s a fine line between beating a child and offering discipline. The latter comes from a place of love, whereas the former comes from a place of hate.

— Excessive alcohol consumption and illegal substances. Ever been in a situation where you notice a higher level of aggression from a man who over indulges? That high level of aggression comes from the stimulation caused by intoxicating substances. They trigger and aggravate the minds inert inappropriate behaviors that display toxicity by projecting insecurities on other people.

— Men sexually forcing themselves onto women. It goes unquestionably that any man who engages in sexual activity without consent constitutes as rape. We discussed various forms of rape in the previous article about Cancel Culture.

— Bullying in schools. In severe cases, victims end up committing suicide. I gained respect from my bully when I got tired of his nonsense and threw him with a brick that almost shattered his ankle. Some children are not as fortunate nor courageous. See, children pick up behavioral and character traits from the adults in their surroundings and what they consume from what they are exposed to. Exposing children to toxic masculinity at tender stages of their development may be one of the direct catalysts that leads them to believe that it is okay to insult, beat-up and be emotionally abusive towards other children.

The cultural background of Toxic Masculinity

— A man does not cry and get emotional. A man must be able to handle his business… Men don’t ask for help. Men don’t even go to the doctor… A man does not listen to a woman. A man is more intelligent… Men have the final say. Men cannot be romantically involved with other men… Really?

Nowadays, a man can be anything that he wants to be, even a woman. Toxic Masculinity cannot exist in a society that is accommodating for men to let go of what was seemingly “okay” in the past.

— In the same breath, a man must be able to protect himself and his family. A man must provide and support his family, must have a car, and must have a job. Men must lead and guide. A man must act like a man. These are, counter-intuitively, the expectations of society.

— A man must sleep under a bridge and be homeless to make the woman of his dreams happy. (Okay, this one came up during a conversation with a friend of mine. I am uncertain if it was humor or whether we were being serious 🤣).

— A man must pay for the first date. Otherwise he is considered as not financially competent. As a matter of fact, he must leave his home and get his place to stay as soon as he gets his first paycheck.

However, what happens when a man cannot fulfill any of these obligations? Is society also not guilty of perpetuating the same stereotypical expectations imposed on men that result in toxic masculinity? Maybe we can have this conversation on the Forum.

Healthy Masculinity

This is an ideology where men can, and have the ability to bring a positive impact towards themselves and society.

Examples of Healthy Masculinity

• Emotional expressiveness without feeling emasculated or weak.

• Understanding that it is okay to fail. Nobody is perfect. Nobody has everything all figured out.

• Dealing with mental illness in a pro-active manner with no stigma and self-hate.

• Respecting other people’s opinions, decisions and ways of life.

• Showing vulnerability because it is okay to break down. More importantly, it is okay to ask for help.

• Learning to communicate well with other people.

• Being gentle, loving, caring, supportive and nurturing

You may be looking at these examples and think that this is all feminist. On the contrary, these are examples of what it means to be human. Men do not have to be associated with ruthlessness. The stigma has to end. And it is up to men to make sure that it happens. Men need to be active in the change that they wish to see. Men need to guide other men towards the right path.

Example; if women could solely end violence against other women and children, they would have done it already. So, women are not the problem. The only thing that a man must have is the opportunity to be honest with himself regarding what he is truly capable of. In that way, he can be honest with the people around him and build healthy relations. Is it not simple?

Learning coping mechanisms to rehabilitate the mind from toxic masculinity is a great place to start. Maybe society needs to explore this option more often in order for it to raise a better generation of men.